Don’t Forget to Say I Love
Growing up, my dad worked a lot and my sisters were 5 and 6 years above me in school, so for a good portion of the day it was only my mom and I. We did everything together. I was extremely active, so she literally had to create things to keep me occupied. We did the Elmwood Park Zoo countless times, I was involved in art, sports - you name it, we did it. This built an amazing bond between my mother and I. She is someone who always tells you she loves you, and because of that I grew up always saying I love you as I left the house, got off the phone, and at that point it was really just what I said. The reasoning and actual love behind it I didn’t quite recognize. It was just how I said goodbye to my family.
What’s the point, Eddie?
Well, over time, I’ve had many experiences that remind me that always telling someone you love them when you mean it, is extremely necessary. This week my sister, Katie, had a cancer scare. I was driving and she called me crying. She had been experiencing pain in her chest over the course of the last month. This isn’t a common conversation that my sister and I have, so I of course knew nothing about it. She had just left the doctor, and he was concerned. She needed to go immediately to get a mammogram. Her tears scared me. I immediately thought of the things she would have to go through next if she did in fact have cancer. I already imagined sitting by my beautiful sister’s bedside in the hospital and a chill went through my body. I remembered my grandmother finding out she had lung cancer, and being gone the next week. Life changes in the blink of an eye. My sister’s subsequent tests showed that she is fine and I thank God for that. However, it was just another situation that made me realize how quickly our lives can change.
I also visited Magee Rehabilitation Center this week. I mentor there and I always see instances of paralysis and spinal cord injury that blow my mind. Both guys that I mentored didn’t really have any crazy story of how they lost feeling, which makes it even scarier in my opinion. One guy was on a work trip and bent over to pick up his underwear in his hotel room, and pop went his S4-S5 vertebra and instead of exploding outward it went inward to his spinal cord. He instantly lost feeling below the waist. He was picking up his underwear!!! Our reality can change in the most mundane fashion. Fortunately, he was able to get surgery quickly enough and is already regaining most feeling and function. The other guy used to do semi-pro wrestling, but can’t remember any specific injury that brought this on. It was just over the course of a month his body began failing him and his legs got weaker and weaker. Finally, he was in a wheelchair to get around and decided to see a doctor. They ended up having to slice up a good portion of his upper back and neck. They placed hardware in there and reset his spine due to complications with scoliosis. He also is quite blessed as he already has function in both of his legs back. These guys were just living their lives and out of nowhere they lost the feeling and function of their legs. That’s scary. You never know what lays ahead of you for the day.
In my own situation, I got shot after a sixty-second argument. A seemingly typical exchange of words between two groups of guys made my life change forever. I had 14 surgeries, aspirated on the surgery table, and flat-lined twice - all because of sixty-seconds on a very common night out. It’s unbelievable when you think about it. So, like I said, you never know how your day is going to end up. And, if you feel it and mean it, you’ll probably never regret telling those you love that you do.
It’s a Blessing
The situations I mentioned are horrible but probably not as uncommon or freak as you would think. When your reality changes, you gain empathy and a realization about life that you probably didn’t have before. And this empathy and realization are the blessings in the darkness that can help us live our best lives. As a child, I replied, “I love you,” when I simply left the house. Now, because of these different situations, when I say, “I love you,” I mean it. No one in my life will ever question where they stand with me. They will hear “I Love You” often. I say it to my male friends, and to some, that’s funny. But I do love them for the roles they’ve played in my life and I make no apologies for it. Those words will never be left off the table. Life is too fragile, too uncertain, and too fleeting not to say what you feel. So, when you hang up with someone you love, tell them. When you leave their house, tell them. If you haven’t spoken in a while, reach out. You never know if you’ll get another chance.
Have an amazing day!
Eddie