24/7 Happiness
In starting this blog, it’s been really interesting and fun having dialogue with many people about the topics I’ve discussed. One thing people have seemingly taken to is my attitude. They appreciate my positivity and they ask me, “How do you stay that way.” Well, here’s my secret. I DON’T!!! It is impossible to stay happy and positive 24/7. This life we lead is difficult. It has so many twists and turns that we can never imagine, and many times can’t see past them when they occur. We get focused on these things that happen to us, can’t see a way out, and we get down. That is normal; our goal is not to be happy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Instead, we should just focus on being happy the majority of the time. So, let’s shoot for 51% of our week and go from there J.
Recent Struggles
So, about three months ago right before Christmas I encountered a confluence of events that really took from my ability to stay happy and positive. I broke my hip & femur near the end of November. This needed surgery to place two titanium rods to stabilize the bones in my already weak (from paralysis) leg. I was nervous how this would heal; as I don’t receive the same amount of blood flow into that leg and this can drastically affect healing timetables. Due to this injury I was now out of work. I actually broke my hip the morning of my last day as a long-term substitute at a local high school. I was in the process of interviewing for other positions, but now this changed all of that. I would need time to heal. As Christmas approached, my girlfriend at the time decided things were not working out. My best friend was now gone, and my phone went radio-silent. So now here I laid; injured, jobless, no girlfriend, and it was the holiday season. Real pathetic, Eddie. I know, right??? I was sad, I was down, and my positivity had taken a major hit. I felt physical pain, mental pain, and emotional pain. I thought with even everything I have been through, this series of events might actually be what made me unravel. I thought I might give up. We can never do that, we must go forward. We must keep going.
Find Your Value
I felt of no value, I thought others didn’t see value in me. Was I worthless? No absolutely not, but I did have to search for my value. For me, it was a simple email from Magee Rehab and a new patient they would like for me to mentor. In the visit with the man, his fiancée, and his father I realized that doing for others is where my value lies. For better or worse, I have unique experiences and they can help a person, which in itself makes me happy. When I walk into a place where people have just lost that ability to walk, my perspective came back. There were many reasons for me to be positive, happy, and to realize I was blessed. I understood I needed to do more of this, share my experiences, and help others. All of our personal paths are different, but figure out what makes you tick, what makes you happy, and by all means do more of it.
Small Goals
Even when the bad stuff seemingly piles up make sure you try to be positive/happy a majority of the time. Each day we wake up we can will ourselves to a good day if we truly want it. That’s what I did. It’s an old Alcoholics Anonymous idea of just, “One day at a time.” So, just one day at a time, I tried to be happy. Sometimes it was a minute-to-minute thought process, but the time accumulates. If we think too much into the future, things become daunting, but one day is nothing. It’s 24 hours, and to keep us positive for that small amount of time doesn’t seem so crazy. Make morning and bedtime rituals to begin the day and end the night correctly. These will set us on the road to a productive day and allow us to get to sleep easier, which being well rested is always a recipe for a better day. For instance, in the morning I make my bed everyday. Seems simple, right? I saw a video not too long ago about a Navy Admiral, who mentioned this and to be honest it works. I do that and a small cleaning of my room, read a daily quote, pray, and do cardio. I have accomplished something and I’m ready to attack the day with vigor. At night, we usually think of all the bad and these things keep us up at night. I like to make tea, read quotes/books, write, and reflect on the day. This works for me, and it tires me out, so whatever is weighing on me doesn’t keep me up at night.
Don’t Just Sit There
As you try to will yourself to a good day, don’t just sit there. Throw yourself into the world. Reach out to old friends, try activities, travel, and get out of the house. If we lay in the fetal position in our bedroom, I can assure you things are not going to change. Everyday is not going to be perfect, and even when we think we are making fantastic progress we’ll wake up and maybe we can’t get the bad off our mind. That is going to happen, and that’s ok. Just make sure you don’t allow that time to accumulate and go from one bad day, to a bad week, or a bad month. That is when we will be crippled by our physical, mental, or emotional wounds. This can easily happen, so it takes work, perspective, and an appreciation for what is all around us to see the good. Once you do, embrace it, and focus on that. Time will heal us physically, mentally, and emotionally you just need to make it through each day. The bad will just waste your energy, and the vast majority of it you can’t do anything about. So, we may not be happy 24/7, but we can certainly maintain a life that where we are happy a majority of the time and that in itself is pretty special.
Happy Monday
Eddie